


Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Carol Danvers, Crack, Crack Fic, I just love paul rudd ya know?, Its crack idk what you want, Marvel Crack Fic, Not Avengers: Endgame Compliant, Peter Parker is A Meme God, Read it tho I think it’s good, Scott Lang is a bigger part then he probably should be lol, there’s a whole 2 swearwords so you’ve been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22154680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: you want me to DESCRIBE this monstrosity?uhh I wrote this back in april. but a friend told me I should post it lol.
Kudos: 9





	Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey

**Author's Note:**

> im honestly not sorry

there’s a whole 2 swearwords so you’ve been warned

it was dark when he woke up. he looked around and saw footloose guy, blue guy, anenti girl, and doctor strange. the three alien people he didn’t know were making sure each other we're okay until they noticed he was awake

footloose guy was the first to speak “hey spider buddy you okay?”  
peter nodded as the man helped him up, 

“hey where’s blue girl and mr stark?” he asked looking around.

“that’s what we’re trying to figure out right now.”

that’s when they noticed something strange, strange. he was doing the spinny hand thing he always does when he saw them looking at him

“it’s been five years.” he said looking intensely at the four of them “come on they need us” 

one by one the five of them walked into the portal. when peter walked through the portals he saw the biggest group of people he’d ever seen in his life, and at the front of it all was captain america, he looked across from where the portal opened and saw another entire army of people with mr. grapeman thanos himself at the front. 

he got into a fighting stance and heard steve yell “AVENGERS, ᵃˢˢᵉᵐᵇˡᵉ” he only heard the last bit as he was at the front of the pack and had enhanced basically everything, he didn’t know if anyone else heard but they all started running so he did too. 

he swung up and started looking for mr stark who he eventually spotted. he jumped down in front of him and began explaining the situation hoping for an explanation 

“mr stark! do you remember when we were on that red planet? and i got all dusty? well i must have passed out cause you weren’t there and doctor strange started doing that spinny thing he always does with his hands and said ‘it's been five years come on they need us’ and-“ he didn’t get to finish because the man had smothered him with a hug after he a few seconds he said

“well this is nice” before the two both headed back into battle. the whole thing was wild, peter saw people he knew, didn’t know, and had only heard of, it would all be incredible if the world wasn’t at stake, when he saw the dude who looked like a cat almost get trapped while carrying the gauntlet he swooped in and saved him, but the issue now was. HE had the gauntlet. 

“uh oh” he muttered under his breath but he now noticed that it was a good as time as any to try that instant kill mode karen had mentioned. once activated peter was just. fuckin. slaying. but not well enough apparently,

“hey!” a voice called out and as he flicked his wrist up he was carried away by a beautiful woman on a pegasus, who he identified as a valkyrie. as he tumbled to the ground the sky started?? raining?? fire?? it stopped for a minute and peter looked up to see a women peter recognised immediately as captain marvel, the world's most powerful lesbian. 

“hey uhhhh….im peter parker” he said to her, she smiled and said in response

“hey peter parker. you got something for me?”

relieved to be rid of the stupid thing he handed it to her saying

“i don’t know how you’re gonna get it through all that” when an army of women surrounded him 

“don’t worry, she’s got help” said natasha romanoff who totally didn’t die half an hour ago.

he watched as the girls ran through the crowd and just watched the whole thing happen. the girl with the glowing red eyes was taking on thanos with mr rogers and mr thor, mr stark and ms potts were being an absolute power couple, the entire remains of the avengers compound collapsing, mr winter soldier using a sniper on the aliens with a raccoon at his side?, the guy who got really big that one time in a van, with some girl, and all sorts of other chaos.

when he looked back at thanos, he saw that he was about to snap his sTInkIN fingers and did what any sensible teenager would do  
“THIS BITCH EMPTY” he exclaimed taking off his shoe  
“YEET” he shouted throwing the shoe directly at thanos’s head. 

“YES!!” a kid about his own age said taking off her own shoe and throwing it at the other side of thanos’s head. 

the madness stopped as the mad titan fell and captain rogers steve american leaned down and said “he’s knocked out. tony take that off, you’re gonna hurt yourself” 

“dang it rogers! I had a great line too! he was gonna be like ‘I am inevitable’ and I’d say ‘and i….am iron man’ and snap my fingers.” 

“tony you have a wife and daughter you can’t sacrifice yourself anymore! there’s other options!”

wow! mr stark had a daughter! and he married ms potts! how incredible.

mr steve america stood up and looked at ‘turns big dude’ “alright scott send them all back, they’re not our problem anymore” 

“on it cap!”

and with that all the villains were whisked away except for some green woman, who footloose dude signaled at scott not to target.

so everyone started to heal, families were reunited, couples back together, peter got to meet little morgan, and pepper and tony even had a second wedding.

also steve returned the stones fairly simply besides running into a prior villain(a story peter couldn’t wait to hear) and things were finally better.

**Author's Note:**

> this totally happened in an alternate universe fite me


End file.
